Sweet Caroline

For the first time since I can't even remember when, I checked her blog. Read almost every entry. It's kind of nice to read them because she writes just the way she talks, so I can just hear her relating these stories to me. Like she used to.

I don't think you even have a link to this, but I'll adress it to you anyway. You were always clever about stalking people on the internet, so maybe you'll find your way here.

You asked about how I know what's the right direction, or if I'm doing the right thing. I don't, but sometimes you have to dive in head first to find out how deep the water is. I didn't know what would happen when I held up my right hand and swore to defend the constitution, or when I first got off the bus to OCS. I didn't know I'd end up back at home four weeks later, barely able to walk around the house. But I sure am glad I went. I found out what I was capable of (ie- finishing a 3 mile FARTLEK run while hyperventilating most of the way). Sometimes you have to do things even if you're afraid of the outcome.

Like with you. I didn't know that first time I picked up the phone to call you, Sophomore year? that it would end in the e-mail screaming match of the decade. I'm glad I did, though. I learned that I was not the friend to you I could have been. For that, I'm sorry.

Don't be afraid to dive in. Even if it seems like the wrong outcome, you might be happier than you think in the long run.