My heart hurts right now. It aches for that feeling I had, the first time I sat down to dinner with you. The first time we laughed together over Family Guy. The first time we kissed. The first time you told me you loved me. My heart aches to feel all that again. But I don't, and the absence leaves me with a gaping hole.
As I sit here reliving the past hour or two, I keep wondering if I've just made the biggest mistake of my life, or if I've just saved us from making the biggest mistakes of our lives. I wanted so badly for you to be the one. But I don't think you are, just as I don't think I'm the one for you. And it breaks my heart.
I guess I'm sorry isn't the right phrase. I'm not sorry for all the happiness you filled my life with, or for how you helped me see that there are better things out there and I don't have to just accept what's given to me. I'm sorry for any time I've caused you pain, especially now. I wish so badly that things could be different. Perhaps with time, they will be. But not now.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Love It.
It's really funny to hear two different versions of the same story, especially when one story-teller is famous for her ability to make nothing her fault and blame everyone but herself for her problems.
Speaking of people who have no concept of reality, I just love hearing people go on and on about how much their lives suck when in fact I can one up them on every complaint. Such as, listening to civilian girls moan about how their boyfriends live...gasp, three hours away! How, oh how will they ever deal with long distance?? Cry me a river. Wait untl you find yourself selling off your things just to pay off debt (and I mean real debt, not a few overdraft fees). Wait until members of your family are dying off in mass, usually unexpected deaths, or are ending up prematurely and permanently crippled.
I could go on, but I'm not going to. There isn't a whole lot of point. I know there are people out there who are worse off than I am right now.
Remember kids: it can always get worse. I could be living in a box, I could have just lost my entire family in a freak accident, I could have a terminal illness.
It can always be worse, so shut the hell up and keep trucking.
Speaking of people who have no concept of reality, I just love hearing people go on and on about how much their lives suck when in fact I can one up them on every complaint. Such as, listening to civilian girls moan about how their boyfriends live...gasp, three hours away! How, oh how will they ever deal with long distance?? Cry me a river. Wait untl you find yourself selling off your things just to pay off debt (and I mean real debt, not a few overdraft fees). Wait until members of your family are dying off in mass, usually unexpected deaths, or are ending up prematurely and permanently crippled.
I could go on, but I'm not going to. There isn't a whole lot of point. I know there are people out there who are worse off than I am right now.
Remember kids: it can always get worse. I could be living in a box, I could have just lost my entire family in a freak accident, I could have a terminal illness.
It can always be worse, so shut the hell up and keep trucking.
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