My heart hurts right now. It aches for that feeling I had, the first time I sat down to dinner with you. The first time we laughed together over Family Guy. The first time we kissed. The first time you told me you loved me. My heart aches to feel all that again. But I don't, and the absence leaves me with a gaping hole.
As I sit here reliving the past hour or two, I keep wondering if I've just made the biggest mistake of my life, or if I've just saved us from making the biggest mistakes of our lives. I wanted so badly for you to be the one. But I don't think you are, just as I don't think I'm the one for you. And it breaks my heart.
I guess I'm sorry isn't the right phrase. I'm not sorry for all the happiness you filled my life with, or for how you helped me see that there are better things out there and I don't have to just accept what's given to me. I'm sorry for any time I've caused you pain, especially now. I wish so badly that things could be different. Perhaps with time, they will be. But not now.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
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